A little R & R in October

OK, now that all the "basic" stuff was covered in my first blog, I feel like I can get into some detail (me, detail-oriented, nooo ;). Anyway, it occured to me after sending the last one that I didn't update about the kids much and I failed to mention Andy's job at all. So the majority of this blog is about our first "trip" away when Andy took a week off toward the end of October, but have to mention a few other things.

First, (we'll start with the youngest) Syd is awesome. She smiles (as you can tell) and laughs like crazy. She's been teething, so she's slobbering and chewing on her hands all the time. At her 4 month appointment a couple of weeks ago she was 14 lbs. and 26 1/2 in. She's still sleeping through the night (rock star) and is in general, a really great, easy baby.

Harrison is doing great but going through his first serious bout of separation anxiety and it's hitting like gangbusters. But we're hoping getting back into preschool and finally being settled will help with that. Poor kid, we've thrown alot at him so we're trying to be understanding and patient with adjustments with him. But he's talking up a storm and like most 3 year olds, says the funniest things on a daily basis. He's been nothing but sweet to little Sydney, no obvious jealousy at all that we can detect, but then she's not old enough to grab his toys yet, so we'll see. In fact today, Syd was fussing and I usually say, "Syd, Mommy's here". He goes, "Syd, Harrison's here". Watching him interact with her ranks up there with the most special memories we'll ever have.

Andy's loving his job. He's the head of finance for the Malaysian market for Mead Johnson and he prefers this role much more than his last job. His work/life balance has improved dramatically and he can typically be home around 6p, with a 20 min. commute so that alone is huge for us. They had a really busy budget timing in the first month and a half we were here, which was crappy timing, so that's why he took a week off in October and we got out of town for a couple of days.

So on to our trip. I say "out of town" but we actually went to a resort that was a 20 min. drive from our house, still within Kuala Lumpur. But once inside you felt like you were far away. The hotel was attached to a mall and had a big theme park, waterpark and small wildlife park. So here's where the pictures begin.

The trip went well and it was a nice break just to be out of our house, but I really wanted to "blog" about it because it was eye opening in a few ways. First let me explain that the area we live in Kuala Lumpur is pretty mixed racially. Lots of expats, as well as the three main races of KL. Alot of areas in KL are much more segregated. The Chinese live in the same areas, as well as the Malays and Indians. Islam is the national religion of Malaysia but it's mainly the Malays that are Muslim who make up about 60% of the population. Indians tend to be Hindus and Chinese tend to be Taoists, Buddhists or Christians. Even in the progressive area we live in, we see headscarves everywhere. But what I see mainly are women dressed in normal clothing, with a headscarf that covers the head and is sometimes closed at the neck under the chin. Once I saw a woman at the mall down the street in a tight T-shirt, tight jeans and stileto heels and a headscarf. On one hand I thought, "way to not conform" but also thought, "what's the point".

Anyway, prior to this vacation, the dress I'd been surrounded by had not been that conservative. I had only seen one burka (the cloak where only the eyes show) when Andy & I went grocery shopping the first weekend here at a store with mainly locals. What struck me when we first entered the hotel's big beautiful lobby was a Muslim couple with a man as casually and progressively dressed as Andy and the woman holding his hand in a black burka, with only her eyes showing.

Then I kept seeing them. It was like Burka City. My reaction was visceral. I found it kind of upsetting and very judgementally looked upon their husbands as perpetrators of a form of abuse. OK, maybe that's a big strong, but it did bother me. What Andy and I surmised, which we've heard from people, is that alot of Saudi Arabians vacation in KL. And since many of the couples we saw looked young and the men were progressively dressed, most were probably honeymooning couples. There was a huge variety of dress. There were Western guests like me with bathing suits on, there were the regular clothes with a headscarf, there were colorful cloaks with the face showing, there were black cloaks with the face showing, then the full-on burkas.

I don't know if the woman above me was Saudi or just Malaysian from outside KL. I was taking a picture of Harrison and she wanted her husband to get a picture of Harrison too, seeming intrigued by his Western-ness or something. So I asked for a picture with her.

Anyway, back to the burkas. I was trying not to stare but I was watching these "burka couples" as I soon started calling them. What surprised me, given my initial assumptions of their relationship, was that these couples were very affectionate. They were all holding hands, or had their arms around each other. They were talking and laughing together walking side by side. To some degree, the hand holding might be a necessity. I think these women have no peripheral vision. But I was struck that I was judging the nature of their life and relationship through my own lens but started to realize that I was probably watching a young couple truly in love but with a religion who's rigidity I just can't grasp.


Although the burkas freaked me a little, here's a picture that I was so happy to get. This is when we were at the waterpark. As I got Syd into her suit, these beautiful women and girls surrounded me. They were a class from outside KL and I think this was the first Western baby they had ever seen. She smiled and they lost their minds. They wanted to hold her, kiss her, play with her. They wanted to know where we were from and I could tell they were practicing their English. I want to show Sydney this picture once she's older as I doubt she'll have any memory of the time we lived in Malaysia and show her as a baby how she was soaking up the culture without even knowing it.

Still on the clothes theme, I saw all these girls at the waterpark a little later. They were in the water in exactly what you see them in: long sleeved shirts, long pants and their headscarves and I saw a lot of kids like that. I even saw what I would call a burka bikini. In fact, I saw signs that showed "proper" dress at the waterpark. From afar I assumed it would say no thongs or something of the like, but it was the other way. It indicated the "conservative" dress not allowed in the water, like no burkas, no cloaks, I guess they could be considered drowning hazards when you think about it. But I still saw the burka couples walking through the waterpark in what was probably 85 degree heat. So these women would maybe want to get in the water, but can't.

But enough about the dress. We hit the wildlife park after that and got some great shots of little guy:

This was a big lizard I got Harrison to pet but he wouldn't hold. And I know I look rather emaciated but no one worry, it's just a bad angle.

But we were able to get him to hold a turtle. This one's a framer. He went nuts for the animals.

Not too crazy for this bird however. I guess he's a reptile kind of kid.

So anyway, hope you enjoyed another edition. Moving on to Halloween next which will mainly be pictures. Again, hope all is well and you're having a great Fall.

-RFF